So the Photo is
A little cockeyed,
but, at this point in 2020, aren't we all?
All three Gardens, Nick, Nora and Asta,
Continue to go Great Guns.
Asta and Nora are the Best,
With Nora's Pumpkins Taking Over the Yard
And Asta's Chiles Providing a Bumper Crop
(52 and Counting!)
Also, Look Closely
And You Can See
Young Otis Gumpox
Riding His Mighty Dog
Through the South 40 (Square Feet)
The Slow Movers
Have Been the Bigger Variety of Tomatoes.
They've Been Growing
in Nick, the Upper Garden,
And Have Taken Forever to Get Going.
(Depleted Soil? Low Acid to Start? Not Sure.)
(This Will Be a Re-Building Winter, For Sure.)
Here it is, August 30 and Our First Beefsteak
(At Least, I Think It's the Beefsteak, Everything Got Mixed Up in the Green House)
Is just Barely Starting to Grow.
One Fellow Looks to Have Been Attacked
Another Seems to Have Been Exposed to Radiation.
Also, after a Season FREE,
Free, I tell you,
Of Japanese Beetles,
The Little Bastards Have Come Back in a Cloud.
We've Been Hand Plucking them Off the Basil and Chiles,
Keeping Them From Sending Off
(When They're Squished)
We've Then Invited Them to Swim in Our
Community Pool with Dawn (tm)
I Should Have More Concern
For All of God's Creatures,
But I Draw the Line at
Despite the Wicked Attempts of Insects
And The Great Horse Wrigley
To Eat Every Growing Thing,
We've Had a Pretty Good Crop This Year.
Chiles are Outrageous,
As are the Sweet 100s (Container Grown)
And We're Now Getting the Yellow GE Lightbulb Tomatoes.
We've Also Done Well on Cucumbers, But
About Half Have Been Really Bitter.
Gonna Have to Look Into That.
Early This Morning,
Both Looking Somewhat the Worse for Wear,
Mr. Bitterman's New Assistant,
Joined Me in the Harvest.
She's Fresh From LA and Tested Negative,
So, Bitterman is Letting Her Harvest
What He Doesn't Want to Carry Up to the House.
As You Can See,
Pumpkins and Acorn Squash
Are Starting to Reach
The Picking Point.
This is What Has Been Passing
For Joy and Surprise Around Here.
Bitterman Simply Wanders Off to Chew On Another Leaf.
I'm Not Sure What They Are.
He Says They Came From Peru.
Meanwhile, When He's NOT Chewing on
"Bitterman's Special Leaves,"
He's Putting Up Posters of Winston Churchill
Exhorting the Plants to
"Grow, Damn You!"
As Only Winston Can Say It.
All but the Tomatoes Seem to Listen.
Furious George Has Spent His Summer
Learning About Wine
With The Bat-Shit Crazy Neighbors.
It's in a Nice Glass, Sure,
But That Shit Came Out of a Box.
(I've Known Those Neighbors Too Damned Long.)
Furious is Convinced
We'll Grow Both
Bitterman Told Him
To Keep Drinking and Dreaming.
Young Otis Gumpox has Spent
The Hot (95+) Afternoons
Watching Old Hopalong Cassidy Movies.
He's Now In a Heavy Western Phase.
Shooting Bad Guys Only in the Hand
And Then Riding Off to
The Melody Ranch
For a Song or Two with Gene Autry.
Furious George Refuses to Play His Smiley Burnette.
(This Was His First Horse, "Topper,"
Before the Mighty Steed "Wrigley' Showed Up From LA)
This Is Young Otis Gumpox's New Buddy,
A Pitty-Lab Mix Named Wrigley.
He's Saddle Broken and a Sweet Ride for Young Otis.
As Long as the Hopalong Cassidy Cowboy Outfit
Doesn't Come With Spurs We Should Be Fine.
Now, THAT is a Happy Dog!
When All This Nonsense Began,
The Little Birdhouse Was Standing Upright,
The Gardens Were Empty
And It Was Easy to Traverse
Now, Even Roscoe
Can't Find His Way Through
(Yes, He's In There Somewhere)
And, No Matter How Much He
On Pumpkin Leaves,
They Continue To Grow
Out of Control.
(I Must Say, The Container Basil is Doing Exceptionally Well!)
So Are the Sweet Potatoes,
Which Came as a Bit of a Surprise,
As I Grew Them From Seed Potatoes,
Something I Had Never Done Before
And Was Basically Guessing
At the Process.
Godzilla Appears to Have
Lost the Gnome Among
The Acorn Squash.
(At Least 4 This Year, Possibly 8 if the Season Goes Long.)
This is Vlad's Garden.
He's the Furless Sphinx Grandcat
That Likes to Explore
(With Spotters at Every Conceivable Exit.)
His Wanderings Tend to Drive Young Otis Gumpox Crazy.
As a Former Employee of GE
(We Bring Good Things to Light)
I Have Been Contracted to Grow
These Lightbulb Tomatoes.
They'll Eventually Turn Yellow
And Give the Company
Another Green Initiative to Point At
While Hoping Everyone Ignores All the Other Stuff They Do.
And For Those Of You Who Were Wondering:
The Tree Pumpkin
Continues to Grow.
Last Time I was Down There I Had to Adjust the Bungee.
It Seems the Bungee Had Lost Its Bounce.
Bitterman is Convinced the Tree Groaned for a Moment Under the Weight
As He Passed By.
We're Trying to Be Careful With Water Usage,
As We're In the Middle of a Big Damned Drought.
Furious George Is Convinced It Would be Cheaper and Safer to Switch Over to Vodka
As Fish Have "Relations" in Water.
I Don't Think We'll Go That Far, But, I May Join Him.
Young Otis Gumpox Finished
"The Umbrella Academy 2"
He's Now Determined to Write His Own
"The Colorado Home for the Exceptionally Mundane."
He Has Great Hopes.
(Ah, the Foolishness of the Young Writer.)
(Though, I Hope He Does Mention Me When He Wins an Emmy.)
As for Mr. Bitterman,
He's Tired of Readjusting Hoses and Sprinklers Every 30-Seconds.
So, He Just Bought a New Water Feature.
The Stalin Fountain Goes Well
With the Vladimir Lenin Fountain
Bitterman Found in Warsaw
If He Gets
We'll Have the Whole Set
Early Soviet Leaders!