Mr. Bitterman's Garden
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THE CLOCK IS RUNNING ...

5/17/2020

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Somewhere, out in that cloud everybody is always talking about,
or, just lost in the ether someplace, are at least two Garden Blogs
about seedlings. Starting seedlings, and having them take over your kitchen.

I don't know what happened to them, and, for the life of me,
I can't find the damned things. So, here we are, down the road
from the start of the 10-minute Colorado Gardening season,
ready to begin again.

Welcome to Mr. Bitterman's Garden.
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The Goal this Season was to avoid crowding, 
especially with the tomatoes.

I did pretty well in spacing the pumpkins and the cucumbers in Nora,
the lower garden, but still wound up crowding the tomatoes a bit in Nick,
the upper garden. I had it all plotted out, so carefully, until I wound up 
with extra Sweet Hundreds Hybrid Tomatoes.
We love those, so we loaded up and the plot plans were shot.
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It's not as bad as it has been in past years,
but by July, it will seem pretty crowded in here if we get the growth I'm expecting.
Also going to try Sweet Hundreds in a pot next to the back porch.
I have no idea if they'll work. 
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We also have a nice collection of peppers going, Hatch Mild and Hatch Medium.
How can we tell them apart?
You don't. 
That's half the joy of Chile season.
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We also have beans growing in each and every garden,
with more still hatching on the kitchen table.
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We're having some concerns about the pumpkins and cucumbers.
Both are looking pretty anemic at the moment after transplanting,
but, we'll keep an eye on them and replant as necessary.


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​All in all, I'm pretty happy with the results and the planting so far.
Normally, by now, I've busted off Lord knows how many stems
and flowers as my shaky paws try to remove them from the overcrowded
planting pots.

Someday, I'll learn, but I am getting better at it.
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Mr. Bitterman has set up an easel in the middle of Nora,
carefully avoiding the cucumber and pumpkin vines.
He's pretty sure he's got a masterpiece or two in him.
Furious George said he could get those out with a little
Metamucil.
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Meanwhile, Furious has been working all Spring on his "Flight to the Moon"
idea, building a spaceship in the back yard with the bat-shit crazy neighbor
while both were high on martini's.
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On the other hand, we haven't seen or heard from either one since Tuesday.
Any information would be greatly appreciated at this address.
The little bastard still owes me $42.50 for Liquid Hydrogen 
And a Bottle of Ketel One.
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​Young Otis Gumpox is coming into his own, growing by leaps and bounds
and freaking out the cat. 

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Last week he dressed as one of my daughter's Sock Monkeys
and dropped on her from the shelf over her bed.
There was a long talk about appropriate behavior at 2 am.

The poor girl hasn't slept since.
Otis sleeps just fine.
​
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    Greg Moody is the long-time Critic-at-Large in Denver, CO. He has developed a love of raised bed gardening with the help of his simian assistant, Mr. Bitterman.

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