When All This Nonsense Began, The Little Birdhouse Was Standing Upright, The Gardens Were Empty And It Was Easy to Traverse The Backyard. Now, Even Roscoe Can't Find His Way Through (Yes, He's In There Somewhere) And, No Matter How Much He Pees On Pumpkin Leaves, They Continue To Grow Completely Out of Control. (I Must Say, The Container Basil is Doing Exceptionally Well!) So Are the Sweet Potatoes, Which Came as a Bit of a Surprise, As I Grew Them From Seed Potatoes, Something I Had Never Done Before And Was Basically Guessing At the Process. Godzilla Appears to Have Lost the Gnome Among The Acorn Squash. (At Least 4 This Year, Possibly 8 if the Season Goes Long.) This is Vlad's Garden. He's the Furless Sphinx Grandcat That Likes to Explore Gardens. (With Spotters at Every Conceivable Exit.) His Wanderings Tend to Drive Young Otis Gumpox Crazy. As a Former Employee of GE (We Bring Good Things to Light) I Have Been Contracted to Grow These Lightbulb Tomatoes. They'll Eventually Turn Yellow And Give the Company Another Green Initiative to Point At While Hoping Everyone Ignores All the Other Stuff They Do. And For Those Of You Who Were Wondering: The Tree Pumpkin Continues to Grow. Last Time I was Down There I Had to Adjust the Bungee. It Seems the Bungee Had Lost Its Bounce. Bitterman is Convinced the Tree Groaned for a Moment Under the Weight As He Passed By. We're Trying to Be Careful With Water Usage, As We're In the Middle of a Big Damned Drought. Furious George Is Convinced It Would be Cheaper and Safer to Switch Over to Vodka As Fish Have "Relations" in Water. I Don't Think We'll Go That Far, But, I May Join Him. Young Otis Gumpox Finished "The Umbrella Academy 2" Last Night. He's Now Determined to Write His Own Thriller-Sci-Fi-Comic-Drama-Fantasy-Time-Jumping-Series, "The Colorado Home for the Exceptionally Mundane." He Has Great Hopes. (Ah, the Foolishness of the Young Writer.) (Though, I Hope He Does Mention Me When He Wins an Emmy.) As for Mr. Bitterman, He's Tired of Readjusting Hoses and Sprinklers Every 30-Seconds. So, He Just Bought a New Water Feature. The Stalin Fountain Goes Well With the Vladimir Lenin Fountain Bitterman Found in Warsaw Last Year. If He Gets Malenkov, Khrushchev And Brezhnev, We'll Have the Whole Set of Early Soviet Leaders!
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