August 15th, 2020

When All This Nonsense Began,
The Little Birdhouse Was Standing Upright,
The Gardens Were Empty
And It Was Easy to Traverse 
The Backyard.
​

Now, Even Roscoe
Can't Find His Way Through
(Yes, He's In There Somewhere)
And, No Matter How Much He
Pees
On Pumpkin Leaves,
They Continue To Grow 
Completely
Out of Control.
(I Must Say, The Container Basil is Doing Exceptionally Well!)
​

So Are the Sweet Potatoes,
Which Came as a Bit of a Surprise,
As I Grew Them From Seed Potatoes,
Something I Had Never Done Before 
And Was Basically Guessing
At the Process.
​

Godzilla Appears to Have
Lost the Gnome Among
The Acorn Squash.
(At Least 4 This Year, Possibly 8 if the Season Goes Long.)
​

This is Vlad's Garden.
He's the Furless Sphinx Grandcat
That Likes to Explore
Gardens.
(With Spotters at Every Conceivable Exit.)
His Wanderings Tend to Drive Young Otis Gumpox Crazy.
​

As a Former Employee of GE
(We Bring Good Things to Light)
I Have Been Contracted to Grow
These Lightbulb Tomatoes.
They'll Eventually Turn Yellow
And Give the Company
Another Green Initiative to Point At
While Hoping Everyone Ignores All the Other Stuff They Do.
​

And For Those Of You Who Were Wondering:
The Tree Pumpkin
Continues to Grow.
Last Time I was Down There I Had to Adjust the Bungee.
It Seems the Bungee Had Lost Its Bounce.
Bitterman is Convinced the Tree Groaned for a Moment Under the Weight
As He Passed By.
​

We're Trying to Be Careful With Water Usage,
As We're In the Middle of a Big Damned Drought.
Furious George Is Convinced It Would be Cheaper and Safer to Switch Over to Vodka
As Fish Have "Relations" in Water.
I Don't Think We'll Go That Far, But, I May Join Him.

Young Otis Gumpox Finished
"The Umbrella Academy 2"
Last Night.
He's Now Determined to Write His Own 
Thriller-Sci-Fi-Comic-Drama-Fantasy-Time-Jumping-Series,
"The Colorado Home for the Exceptionally Mundane."
He Has Great Hopes.
(Ah, the Foolishness of the Young Writer.)
(Though, I Hope He Does Mention Me When He Wins an Emmy.)
​

As for Mr. Bitterman,
He's Tired of Readjusting Hoses and Sprinklers Every 30-Seconds.
So, He Just Bought a New Water Feature.
​

The Stalin Fountain Goes Well
With the Vladimir Lenin Fountain
Bitterman Found in Warsaw
Last Year.
​

If He Gets
Malenkov,
Khrushchev
And
Brezhnev,
 We'll Have the Whole Set
of
​Early Soviet Leaders!