​I have once again been reminded by both Furious and Bitterman that last year we planted seeds too early and wound up with a bumper crop of seedlings scattered around the house, filling every sunbeam in the place, much to the chagrin of the dogs. (It doesn't seem to bother Sadie, as she rather enjoys napping on a pile of compost.)

​With that warning in mind, we once again planted early this season, patience not being my strong suit, and have wound up with a great collection of quickly sprouting vegetation.

​So far, the cucumbers, seen above, the pumpkins, seen below and the beans have taken off like nobody's business. Tomatoes are right behind, each plant poking its head out of the starter soil. I'm happy for that, as, if we can keep them going, we might be able to begin harvest around mid-late-July. (These are Cherokee Purples and Boxcar Willies. I had no luck with the Purples last season, but I blamed the soil more than the seeds. That appears to be fixed now, so we'll try again. I've fallen in love with heirloom tomatoes ...)

​ (On the other hand, they never write. They never call.)

​Pumpkins are being moved down to an unused section of the butterfly garden, as having them just off the yard proved to be too much of a temptation for Furious George as he mowed the lawn. Why bother moving the escaping fronds when you can just mow over them? I complain and he just gives me that cheesy look of his and goes back to his cocktail.

​Tomatoes this season consist of sixteen plants (more, if more seeds sprout), including Big Beef Hybrids and Better Beef (mainly for salads and slicing), plus a variation on Romas, which will be used to create homemade sauce for the year. It's a lot of tomatoes, but just about every one of them gets used over the course of the summer in some way, shape or form.
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​We haven't necessarily LOST the kitchen table, but we have been relegated to a small section of the west side.  It's not too bad, even though Becky had to move a bean stalk the other day to take a sip of her soup.

​Sharing the house with growing greenery is certainly a small price to pay for such happy anticipation.
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​Just think, though, if they really take off, of all we might be able to produce with these little boogers! We may not even have to buy any established plants this season. They'll be growing EVERYWHERE!

​(I'd knock on wood for that one, but my head is still sore from that drinking game on Saturday night with Bitterman.)

​It seems both Mr. Bitterman and Furious George were getting bored with the decorations in the garden over the past two years. Buddha, a malevolent Garden Gnome, a Frog Drinking Coffee, Godzilla Eating Gnomes and a variety of spinners and sun catchers. (I'm catching on to this old man shit really well -- tchotchkes everywhere!)

Anyway.

​The boys were getting bored and since I had pretty much gone through all of O'Toole's inventory of Garden Frippery, I went on a search and came up with this: an abandoned Hollywood statue from some sand and sandal epic -- maybe "Gods of Egypt" or "The Ten Commandments" or "Beach Blanket Bingo," I dunno.

Anyway ... Bitterman and Furious ran out to the location with the Bat Shit Crazy Neighbor's Pickup Truck and hauled it home.

​(By the time The BSCN reported the truck missing, they were already back and watching reruns of "Charmed," leaving the cops to wonder if the BSCN really was BSC as he demanded they arrest "the monkey" next door.)
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​I think it makes a delightful, somewhat pagan, addition to the garden, even if it does take up 3/4 of the yard. Seeing as how an Egyptian Ram God (I think it's Khnum) will be staring into the neighbor's yard during his Easter Celebration this weekend, it should make for a delightful show.
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​I don't think I'm as early as I have been in the past, but I have been busy at it, setting up my MR GREEN JEANS SEED STARTER KIT (WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY BUNNY RABBIT AND (THE LATE) MR. MOOSE) and planting away.
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​We've got 16 Tomato Plants started, including Cherokee Purple, Box Car Willie, Roma, Big Beef Hybrid and Beef Steak. I'm really hoping to get the Cherokee Purples going this season as I've come to love heirloom tomatoes.

​We've also got jalapenos, pumpkin, sunflowers, 3 types of cucumbers, beans (Corona Beans and Christmas Limas so far, more to come), as well as acorn squash. We'll add Anaheim Chiles and other fun things to the mix as they become available.

And -- the seeds are sprouting.
Well, at least one is ...
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​I think it's a sunflower that is making the first appearance this season. At least I hope it is, and not that strange plant I found in the yard following a total eclipse of the sun. (See below. The toughest part was finding that size Maxwell House can.)
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​Little Bastard Went for My Finger This Morning
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This year, we're not going to have the problem of what seeds got planted where, as I have figured out how to use the plot sheet that came with the DONALD J. TRUMP "YOU TOO CAN BE A CELEBRITY SEED STARTER" KIT -- CORPORATE FARMER EDITION.

​I marked the top of the seed starter, then filled in the plot, getting everything started just the way I wanted to do it.

​It all makes perfect sense to me. Now, as long as I don't lose the sheet, or accidentally put the cover of the incubator back on incorrectly, then we should have a good chance of knowing what we're planting this year in Nick and Nora.

​And they -- as you can see -- are both ready to go.
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