Mr. Bitterman's Garden
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I'M NOT REALLY SURE WHAT HAPPENED ...

6/24/2020

1 Comment

 

Everything was Quiet around Here for Most of June.
The Seedlings were Slowly Growing.
(And By Slowly, I mean SLOWWWWWWLY)
Until about a Week Ago when, BAM!
The Pumpkins in Nora and Asta took off Like a Shot.
​As Did the Cucumbers.
​
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One Pumpkin we Didn't Plant
And Weren't Expecting
Was the Surprise in the Chile Garden.


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The Sumbitch Just Appeared One Day.
I'm Not Sure
If it was a Leftover from Last Year
Or a Transplanted Seed
Courtesy of One of the Seven Squirrels 
Bitterman has Befriended in the Back Yard.

It has, however, Forced Me to Consider
Moving at Least Two Chile Plants.
​

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Meanwhile, as Furious George sipped Martini's
With the Bat-Shit Crazy Neighbors,
We Had a Visitor.
​

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While I went Down to Investigate,
Becky Found Mr. Bitterman
And Asked him to Help Shoo the Turkey Away.

He said, "Which one?"
At Which Point They Both Laughed and Went Inside for More Wine.

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We've also Got a Beautiful
Crop of Basil 
Going in One of the Barrels.
(The Others Have Sweet Potatoes and Petite Purples)
​

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We've Also Had Very Good Luck
With the Acorn Squash.
​

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About the Only Thing
I'm Really Worried About
Are the Tomato Plants 
We Have Growing in Nick,
The Upper Garden.

 They're Ridiculously Puny 
And Refuse to Grow.
I've Tried Building Up the Soil
And Adding Some Acid to the Ground,
But Nothing Seems to Work Yet.

Tomatoes May Be a Farmer's Market
Purchase This Year.

(We've Had Soil Problems with Nick in the Past,
We May Just Have to Clean Him Out
And Replace the Soil.
​

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​Meanwhile --
The Butterfly Garden is Going Great Guns.
​

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Everything We Sowed This Season
Has Seemed to Have Paid Off
Bigly.

We're Very Happy With It.
​

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Furious Wanders Down to Sit Among the Flowers
For His Evening Martini's.
By Number 4, 
He's Talking to the Alligator Sculpture
And Dancing Amidst the Buds.
​(Artist Representation by Al Hirschfeld)


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As for Mr. Bitterman,
When He's Not Drinking Wine 
With the Missus,
He's Been Spying on The Tiny Tomatoes,
Trying to Discover
Why
They Refuse to Grow.
​

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Young Otis Gumpox Invited His Family to Join Him
For Part of the Summer.
It Has Been Crowded, but Fun.
Mom and Dad Are Great
But Uncle Hezikiah
(Left)
Is a Real Piece of Work.

He's a Real Grumpoid
Unless He Gets to Watch
Endless Reruns of
"Pawn Stars."
(As He Explained, "They Get Some Really Interesting Shit on That Show.")
(I Hope He Doesn't Discover "American Pickers."
​
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And He's Drinking All My Beer.
​

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​Just Another Day in the Garden ...
1 Comment
    Picture

    Author

    Greg Moody is the long-time Critic-at-Large in Denver, CO. He has developed a love of raised bed gardening with the help of his simian assistant, Mr. Bitterman.

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