Mr. Bitterman's Garden
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Harvest Time -- Absent Certain Tomatoes

8/30/2020

1 Comment

 

Okay.
So the Photo is
A little cockeyed,
but, at this point in 2020, aren't we all?


All three Gardens, Nick, Nora and Asta,
Continue to go Great Guns.

Asta and Nora are the Best,
With Nora's Pumpkins Taking Over the Yard
(23!)
And Asta's Chiles Providing a Bumper Crop
(52 and Counting!)

Also, Look Closely
And You Can See 
Young Otis Gumpox 
Riding His Mighty Dog
Wrigley
Through the South 40 (Square Feet)
​
Picture
​
The Slow Movers
This Season
Have Been the Bigger Variety of Tomatoes.

They've Been Growing
in Nick, the Upper Garden,
And Have Taken Forever to Get Going.
(Depleted Soil? Low Acid to Start? Not Sure.)
​(This Will Be a Re-Building Winter, For Sure.)

Here it is, August 30 and Our First Beefsteak
(At Least, I Think It's the Beefsteak, Everything Got Mixed Up in the Green House)
Is just Barely Starting to Grow.
One Fellow Looks to Have Been Attacked
Another Seems to Have Been Exposed to Radiation.
​
Picture

Also, after a Season FREE,
Free, I tell you,
Of Japanese Beetles,
The Little Bastards Have Come Back in a Cloud.

We've Been Hand Plucking them Off the Basil and Chiles,
Keeping Them From Sending Off 
Attractant Pheromones
(When They're Squished)
We've Then Invited Them to Swim in Our 
Community Pool with Dawn (tm)
Added in.

I Know,
I Should Have More Concern 
For All of God's Creatures,
But I Draw the Line at 
These Ass-Hats.


Picture

Despite the Wicked Attempts of Insects
And The Great Horse Wrigley
To Eat Every Growing Thing,
We've Had a Pretty Good Crop This Year.

Chiles are Outrageous,
As are the Sweet 100s (Container Grown)
And We're Now Getting the Yellow GE Lightbulb Tomatoes.
We've Also Done Well on Cucumbers, But
About Half Have Been Really Bitter.
​Gonna Have to Look Into That.
​
Picture

Early This Morning,
Both Looking Somewhat the Worse for Wear,
Mr. Bitterman's New Assistant,
Brynn, 
Joined Me in the Harvest.
She's Fresh From LA and Tested Negative,
So, Bitterman is Letting Her Harvest
What He Doesn't Want to Carry Up to the House.

As You Can See,
Pumpkins and Acorn Squash
Are Starting to Reach
​The Picking Point.
​
Picture

This is What Has Been Passing
For Joy and Surprise Around Here.
Bitterman Simply Wanders Off to Chew On Another Leaf.
I'm Not Sure What They Are.

He Says They Came From Peru.
​
Picture

Meanwhile, When He's NOT Chewing on
"Bitterman's Special Leaves,"
He's Putting Up Posters of Winston Churchill
Exhorting the Plants to 

"Grow, Damn You!"
As Only Winston Can Say It.

​All but the Tomatoes Seem to Listen.

​
Picture

Furious George Has Spent His Summer
Learning About Wine
With The Bat-Shit Crazy Neighbors.

It's in a Nice Glass, Sure,
But That Shit Came Out of a Box.
(I've Known Those Neighbors Too Damned Long.)

Furious is Convinced
We'll Grow Both
Wine Grapes
And 
Bananas 
Next Year.


Bitterman Told Him
To Keep Drinking and Dreaming.
​
Picture

Young Otis Gumpox has Spent
The Hot (95+) Afternoons
Watching Old Hopalong Cassidy Movies.

He's Now In a Heavy Western Phase.
Shooting Bad Guys Only in the Hand
And Then Riding Off to
The Melody Ranch
For a Song or Two with Gene Autry.

Furious George Refuses to Play His Smiley Burnette.

(This Was His First Horse, "Topper,"

Before the Mighty Steed "Wrigley' Showed Up From LA)

Picture

This Is Young Otis Gumpox's New Buddy,
A Pitty-Lab Mix Named Wrigley.
He's Saddle Broken and a Sweet Ride for Young Otis.

As Long as the Hopalong Cassidy Cowboy Outfit
Doesn't Come With Spurs We Should Be Fine.
​

Picture
​Now, THAT is a Happy Dog!
1 Comment
Linda (benzel) Stockwell
8/31/2020 07:55:31 am

I share your contempt for the Japanese beetles. I share this story..when I first gardened in TN I wished to be pesticide free and read that a way to 'contain' those beetles was to use a hand held vacuum, suck up the varmints and drown them in soapy water. Muttering oaths to myself at Walmart I collected a small vacuum and headed home. Another site suggested using a small broom to sweep the critters off the plants and into the bucket of soapy water. With much cursing I attacked.
My neighbors now avoid me.

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    Greg Moody is the long-time Critic-at-Large in Denver, CO. He has developed a love of raised bed gardening with the help of his simian assistant, Mr. Bitterman.

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