Mr. Bitterman's Garden
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YOU LEARN AS YOU GO ...

5/1/2017

1 Comment

 
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​The Magic of Removable Hail Screens
​(I got the idea from "The Godfather")


​One of the things I learned last year at O'Toole's Garden Centers was that Colorado Weather is unpredictable, especially early in the season.

​You are just as likely to get piercing heat as you are gentle May showers. Snow is as likely as a warm breeze. And, hail can come at any time, though mid-May to mid-July seem to be the favorite times.

​With that in mind, thanks to watching customers wander into the O'Toole's in  mid-June, 2016,  trying desperately to replace what they had lost in a hail storm the day before, I decided to get proactive about it and cover both gardens (Nick and Nora) with a thin muslin sheet. (I was thinking about using a thin plastic sheet, as I've got acres of the stuff laying around, but the chance of frying the plants was so pronounced in my wee brain pan that I went with the muslin. Besides, the plastic sheeting is so thin that hail would likely eat it alive.)

​These muslin covers can be easily unsnapped and pulled back on nice days, to take advantage of full sunshine, or, quickly pulled over the hoops and snapped in place when severe weather threatens.

​Will they work? God only knows. And, somehow, I suspect that he is laughing himself sick right now as he watches me puttering around with scissors, plastic ties and snap fasteners trying to make the thing work. One good gust of wind and I'll be watching all my efforts sail their way skyward, directly into the path of Denver International Runway Two-Niner -- just as Dean Martin is struggling to land a damaged Trans Global 707 in a blinding snowstorm.

​Where is Ada Quonsett when you need her?

I suppose all I can do is hope for the best and watch the weather, though I wish I could still get it from Howard Gernette and Buck Matthews.


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Howard and Rosemary Gernette
​WISN-TV, Milwaukee

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Buck Matthews
​WOTV, Grand Rapids


​These guys were great -- clear, concise, personable, fun to watch and able to adlib at a moment's notice. They are likely the reason that I got into television.
​
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​So, if you're going to blame anybody, blame them.
1 Comment
David Moody
5/1/2017 02:44:53 pm

I certainly hope that it wasn't a radical muslin sheet! Besides, Buck Mathews admitted he didn't have a clue about weather - just read what he got off the wire. There goes one of my weathermen, oops weather persons.

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    Greg Moody is the long-time Critic-at-Large in Denver, CO. He has developed a love of raised bed gardening with the help of his simian assistant, Mr. Bitterman.

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