Mr. Bitterman's Garden
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WE NOW KNOW

8/3/2017

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​It is, in fact, zucchini, and we have a bumper crop. The damned thing is so large that HALF of one made two loaves of zucchini bread. And, as much as I like zucchini bread, unless I'm helping out with the loaves and the fishes story, I'm not sure what we're going to do with them. How we got them remains a mystery, though I've got to wonder if those kids who were laughing at the garden center pulled the old switcheroo on the guy who thought he was buying cucumber plants. And then, there's the question of "what happened to the acorn squash seeds?" 

​I know I planted the little bastards around here somewhere.

​The tomato plants are slow to develop fruit (except for the Roma and the Cherokee Purple), so, we're either going to have a late season tomatopalooza or lots of impressive tomato plants that need to be taken out with a chain saw come mid-September. Given what the weather is looking like around here in mid-August (70s and rain), I'm not so sure we won't have an early snow.

​Bitterman and Furious are busy catching up on GoT. We lost two pepper plants to a cosplay recreation of the Battle of SomePlaceOrOther on Tuesday. I told them if they kept taking it all so seriously, they couldn't watch anymore, something my mother had told me back when "The Twilight Zone" gave me nightmares.

​(Hell, a can of Mixed Vegetables gave me nightmares. Everything did.)


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    Greg Moody is the long-time Critic-at-Large in Denver, CO. He has developed a love of raised bed gardening with the help of his simian assistant, Mr. Bitterman.

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