It began on Saturday morning, when my mother in law mentioned that she and father had just picked up a room humidifier for a song at Bed, Bath and Beyond. (It began as a full concert, but once you added up all the little deals and coupons, it was merely a song.) Being that we needed a room humidifier for a bedroom with the humid-ery (See Albert the Alleycat, 1975, WITI-TV6 Weather) of the Sahara, we dashed off to get one.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a good sized box with an indoor growing kit! And it was perfectly priced, as well, at a mere $149! My Medicare payment could wait! Oh, joy, oh, rapture! February 25th and I could start growing indoors! (After their $50 promo discount and with a 20% off coupon, it came to a mere $79! Which convinced my wife to push the icepick only an inch or two into my chest for spending money we don't have! How she puts up with it all, I certainly don't know. She can't go anywhere with me.)
Herbs! Fresh herbs! Growing right there in the kitchen alongside whatever is under the refrigerator grabbing at the cat. We've got two kinds of basil, thyme, parsley, dill and mint. I wish we had oregano rather than mint, but shoppers can't be choosers. Well, they can, they just can't open boxes in the store and trade out product willy-nilly. Miracle Gro frowns on such actions, as does the lady at the store named Edna.
My problem with mint is ... once you've got mint, you've always got mint. Damn thing grows like crazy and you can never quite get rid of it. Just like strawberries. Ten years after planting strawberries and digging them out after the Rabbit Overlords ate them all, they keep coming back.
Their roots are indestructible, just like Superduperman, except of course in that movie where they killed him. Strawberries should get the big red S because they last longer than Superduperman.
It's basically a hydroponic system, with nutrients added to water and then the seeds inserted in these little grow pod thingies. It looks just like the garden June Lockhart was always fiddling with on "Lost in Space," when she wasn't cleaning up after Debbie the Space Chimp.
The LED lights provide sunlight for growing. Everything is on a timer and it tells me when to add both water and nutrients. And, once the herbs get going, they are supposed to flourish. You can also plant vegetables in the system -- cherry tomatoes and such. I don't know if I'll go that far, but I do like the idea of hovering over some plants for the next few weeks while I wait for the okay to take over the kitchen table for the main event and my Super Stalin Collective Farm Grow Kit, with miniature tractor and numerous unhappy serf figurines.
Having just put it all together, I say a little prayer over the seeds and hope that the damned thing doesn't burn the house down.
The Deluxe Set even came with its own guard dog. We have named him Wrigley and he is devoted to the herb garden. He is fitting in nicely.
Until next time! Onward, my fellow gardeners to High Herb Adventure!
(Not that kind of High. Not that kind of Herb. But -- that kind of Adventure!)
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