The Instructions on a Pack of Pumpkin Seeds Called for Me (Hereafter Known as "The Farmer") To Thin the Seedlings Soon After Emergence. I Couldn't Do It. They Worked so Hard to Grow Out of the Soil That I Had to Give Them All A Chance to Thrive. And Thrive They Have. The Little Bastards Have Essentially Taken Over the Lower Garden (Hereafter, known as "Nora") And Pushed Everything Off Into a Space The Size of a Rhode Island Postage Stamp. Cucumbers and Beans are Currently Fighting for Sunshine While the Pumpkin Vines are Reaching Over Into Other Gardens and Need Serious Redirection. (And, Look! We've Got a Pumpkin!) The "Surprise Pumpkin" in All of This Continues to Take Over the East Side of the Small Garden (Hereafter known as "Asta") And Threaten The Health and Well-being of the Hatch Green Chile Plants. Once again, I should have Pulled This Sucker Early, But I Simply Didn't Have the Heart. About the Only Plants Not Affected By the Continual Advance of the 200-lb Pumpkin Plants are The Borage The Sweet Potatoes The Purple Petite Potatoes and The Basil (Hereafter known as "Basil Rathbone") "Basil Rathbone" (Seen Above). Just Returned from His Triumphant Tour of the North Counties in "Sherlock Holmes and the Hound of the Basketballs." The One Potted Plant That Couldn't Seem to Outrun Pumpkin Clutches Was The Garlic. The Pumpkin Threads were Using The Garlic Sprouts To Pull Themselves Across to the Tomato Patch. It's Like Watching A Vegetable Version of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." (It's Odd, Because Furious George Argues that The Body Snatchers Are, in fact, Vegetables. He Tried to Order Some Pod Seeds from O'Toole's, but Got Turned Away.) (They're on Back Order with the Big Box Stores -- Seems There's Been Quite a Run on Pod People in Washington.) How The Garlic Escaped All This, I Just Don't Know. In The Upper Garden (Hereafter known as Nick -- or "Neeeck" as Young Otis Gumpox Calls It) We've Got Slowly Growing Tomato Plants That Are Receiving Special Attention. And Some Slowwwwly Growing Plants That Require Special Dispensation from The Vatican. (Becky and Mr. Bitterman Have Been Adding Egg Shells And Coffee Grounds for the Spindly 'Maters In the Hopes That They'll Think It's Breakfast and Wake Up.) On the Other Hand, The Acorn Squash Have Caught Fire And Are Growing Well Thanks to Regular Miracle Gro Liquid Feedings. Lately, We've Had a Family of "Crow Buddies" Visiting 2-4 Times Daily. They're Not Bothering the Gardens, But Have Loved the Cheez-It Cheese Crackers We've Left Out For Them Daily. Young Otis Gumpox (Just Off Stage Left in This Picture) Has Been Trying All Afternoon To Convince the Crows to Share Their Cheez-Its. So Far, No Joy.
Dear Kellogg's: If Anyone There in Battle Creek Would Like to Send a Year's Supply of Cheez-It Baked Snack Crackers in Order to Save The Bank Account of A Poor Backyard Farmer, You Can Reach Me Through The Comments Section of this Here Blog. Mmmmm. Cheez-It. Personally Endorsed by Young Otis Gumpox.
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