Mr. Bitterman's Garden
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Tales of the Drunken Gardener

3/22/2019

1 Comment

 

"You Should Not Drink Und Plant" -- Arnold Schwarzenegger, "Raw Deal" (1986)

When we last left the Gardens of Moody, this was the situation: Nick, the upper garden, needed work on both ends as the dirt was pushing the railroad ties outward; Nora, the lower garden, was fine; and, Asta, the new small garden, had been basically framed and needed to be finished and filled.
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Initially, I had put in just enough bags to hold the weed fabric down while we went through THE MOTHER OF ALL WINTER STORMS, A BOMBOGENESIS, FOR GOD'S SAKE! HUG YOUR CHILDREN AND TELL THEM GOODBYE! It was cold and snowy and windy and nasty for a few hours on Wednesday (March 13), but was already starting to melt by the afternoon of the 14th.
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So, with MOST of the snow finally gone, I trooped out and hauled 15 2-cubic foot bags of garden soil into the frame, then, finished the framing with L-braces and screws. 

(To be honest with you, every three or four bags I moved, I stopped, took a break and had a tot of rum with George and Mr. Bitterman.  By the time the last bag was inside the frame, we really didn't care where they fell or how they looked. Whatever thoughtful plan we had devised early on fell by the wayside as the merriment increased.)
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After a number of tots of a 1952 rum, we got out a knife and started slicing open the bags to spread the goodness. It went well until George determined he needed a "squirrel skin hat" just like his hero, Davy Crewcut. That caused about a half hour delay as we had to keep George from making a hat out of the neighbor's King Charles Spaniel.

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One of the hopes this year was being able to retrieve viable seeds from these dried Oaxacan peppers. If everything germinates we should have a great batch of both Hatch and Oaxacan peppers.

The problem with the Oaxacan seeds is that the peppers themselves were run through a commercial dehydrator and no one is quite sure if those seeds survived.
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Convinced that "Life Will Find a Way," I dug out seeds from both Oaxacan types, misted a sheet of paper towel and put them in plastic bags. This may jump start a few of the seeds if any survived the dehydrator. As a back up plan, I have four packs of seeds coming from one of my numerous seed suppliers.
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I just have to wonder if I've simply found another way to waste VAST amounts of time in my life.
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The seedlings are starting to grow and we've got no place to eat dinner.


Indoors, we have all sorts of seedlings taking over the kitchen table: nearest the camera are the tomatoes. One Hatch chile has popped (a Medium -- there's also a row of Mild planted), while we also have sunflowers, cucumbers and pumpkins coming along very well. (One of the Hatch Mild chile seeds had germinated and worked its way to the top of the seedling chute. I re-dug the hole and dropped it back in to work its full magic.)

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Oddly enough, given my oddly enough life, this has never happened before: after moving all the dirt and setting the railroad ties and slicing open the dirt and spreading it through the new garden, I realized that I had put my gloves on wrong, pushing my middle finger into the same socket as my index. I didn't notice it for about two hours, which shows you the amazing focus YOU TOO can have if you drink A LOT in your 20s-30s and bang your head innumerable times on solid objects (concrete beams, hatchways, 2x4s, cupboard doors, asphalt highways, ad infinitum, ad nauseum) as you travel around the sun.
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Mr. Bitterman Performs an Interpretive Dance During the Bomb-Cyclone.
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Furious George after numerous tots of rum while filling the new garden with soil.
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Becky and Roscoe want nothing to do with us if we continue in our practice of "Drunken Gardening."
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By the way, got new overalls this week …
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Truth be told, they look better on Buddy Lee. 
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By the way, does anyone know where I can get a Mussolini water feature to go with my Uncle Joe Stalin fountain? 
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1 Comment
professional dissertation writers link
7/30/2019 08:04:37 pm

Through this post, I saw how fun it can be if you chose to be a gardener. There is a lot of opportunities you can get by simply being a gardener. But most importantly, being a gardener teach you a lot of good traits a person must have; tow of the many are patience and kindness. There are times wherein we need to wait for something. Plants do not grow that fast; you need to wait until it is ready and blooming already. Being a gardener might be hard, but you can simply learn a lot of stuff from it!

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    Greg Moody is the long-time Critic-at-Large in Denver, CO. He has developed a love of raised bed gardening with the help of his simian assistant, Mr. Bitterman.

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