Mr. Bitterman's Garden
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Comes the Harvest -- Finally!

9/10/2019

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Despite some Noah's Flood moments this past weekend -- no hail, thank the Gardening Gods, but heavy, steady rain -- we've reached the point where we can actually harvest a few of our Million Dollar Vegetables (Harsh Reality and (tm).
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Somewhere under all this greenery are two Acorn Squash. One about softball size, the other the size of a tennis ball on steroids. After a season of fighting with them, desperately trying to keep the little boogers alive, at least we'll get a couple of meals out of them. (I assume they know their fate.)
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Here you see our "sad to the point of tragic" cucumber patch. One plant survived and has produced three pickling cucumbers over the course of the summer. It's embarrassing in a way, as I was planning a pickling party for later this fall, but such is the nature of dreams.
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Red cabbage. (At least I think it's red. It's cabbage, that I know, but I lost the little sticker that came with the plants.) We'll celebrate our German heritage with red cabbage and bratwurst in a week or so, with all the wonderful musical German sounds that accompany such a meal. (It will be just like having Dad back for an evening!)

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Christmas Lima beans from seed (well, beans). We've so enjoyed the beans we get from a company called Rancho Gordo that we've begun to plant them, more each season, in the hopes of actually growing enough for a tablespoon of bean soup. 

We've still got a ways to go.
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The Sweet Hundreds, which have been going gangbusters since August 1, continue to produce. Deep within that batch of leaves there are other tomatoes which are finally developing -- some even without end rot. It seems the calcium added to the soil actually did work this season. At least sporadically.
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And, yes, the pumpkins. This is Adelbert, who we discovered quite by accident while showing off the garden to a relative.  Hiding in the pine tree is Moe. Larry and Curly are on the ground between the gardens making it impossible to access the Sweet Potatoes. (I added the "e" on the end there in honor of  Former Vice President Dan "Have You Already Forgotten Me?" Quayle.) 
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Just to give you an idea of the reach of these suckers, here is Adelbert's frond, reaching out of the garden, across the yard and into our manure producing cow's pen. I'm amazed that Lillian hasn't eaten it yet, as she eats everything we put out for her including a bowl of dog food and a lawn mower.
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Ah, the chiles. The Oaxacans are giving all kinds of fruit, I must have picked ten yesterday. They are very spicy, but have a wonderfully deep, rich flavor.
​The Hatch Mediums are also doing well.
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The Hatch Milds are a little slower this year (hell, I'm a little slower this year), but are also coming along nicely.
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And -- this is the result. Tomatoes, peppers, beans and more yet to come as long as the Weather Foiks are actually right this year and this will be a warm, non-frost September. :30 left in the Colorado growing season and I'm starting to sweat it.

​Plans for The Upcoming Off-Season:
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​Winter Hobbies: George is going to write his own Gardening Blog, "NL,LSPELK!! SIKH' Ek"lNFCPIJ'O" ("Poop I've Thrown at Walls and Other Gardening Tips.") Should be a fun read.

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Mr. Bitterman has decided to take up painting to pass the time between snowstorms. He was worried that to be an artist he'd have to cut off an ear. I convinced him that it wasn't a pre-requisite. Don't know where he got the pipe.
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ODE TO A GARDEN IN HEAVEN
by Furious George
(Translated by Greg Moody)


​The Shortest Path to Heaven
Is Through a Garden Gate.
It Opens With a Creaky Sound
I Hope I'm Not Too Late.
I Wait with Great  Excitement
To Reach those Pearly Gates.
To Plant My Little Seedlings,
And Soon to Know Their Fate.
But Why the Rush for Heaven?
To Plant and Not to Fail?
Because Way Up There in Heaven,
There'll Be No Fucking Hail.


1 Comment
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1/10/2020 07:15:14 am

One of the perks that you can have if you have a garden is the fact that you can harvest the fruits and vegetables that you plant any time you want! Of course, it has to ripe first before you pick it up, that's why it is more ideal rather than buying vegetables. If you have the resources on having a garden then you must grab the chance especially if you want to save money! By the way, I am happy to see that you were able to harvest a lot of vegetables despite the fact that there were some problems that happened!

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    Greg Moody is the long-time Critic-at-Large in Denver, CO. He has developed a love of raised bed gardening with the help of his simian assistant, Mr. Bitterman.

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