Mr. Bitterman Discovers He Can Fly

Given what I was doing, there was a great potential of this being my afternoon.

 
​We began last week's sojourn with the same picture, but here, it is merely to continue the story. Look at the second tree. See the stump right about in the middle of the picture? Well, the branch above it was the one that was causing most of the shading problems for The Garden Known as Nick last year.

So --

​I crawled up there again on the ladder today, convinced I was going to wind up as new material for the compost pile ("Hey, look! I found Dad's glasses, covered with lettuce!"), and started sawing away at it with my underdeveloped little arm. I got about halfway through it when the saw began to stick. I couldn't get around to the other side, so, I wrapped a rope around the branch, attached the hook to the back of the Jeep and gave her a yank.

​The Jeep was not amused. Eugene so rarely is amused. Then again, neither was the branch. It broke from the tree but not completely. Thinking I was just going to give it another tug, Furious George pointed out that the high test tow line that I had been using to pull out stumps for the past quarter century had spilt its farthings at about the half way point.

​That left me to climb back up the ladder and hack at the last strands before it came down.

​It had been such an adventure, that I looked at this huge pile of broken branch and basically said, "Screw it," that's enough for today. The branch can be cut up this weekend. And, with that in mind:

​GARDENING HACK #513: DON'T RUSH OUT TO THE GARDEN AND DO EVERYTHING ON THE FIRST WARM DAY IN MARCH. WAIT. USE YOUR PATIENCE AND SPREAD THE WEALTH THROUGHOUT THE SPRINGTIME. BESIDES, THERE ARE PLENTY OF GOOD SHOWS ON TV IN THE AFTERNOONS NOW. IT'S NOT LIKE THE OLD DAYS WHEN IT WAS ALL GAME SHOWS AND SOAP OPERAS. NOW, IT'S SITCOM RERUNS AND REALITY SHOWS ABOUT WIVES KILLING THEIR HUSBANDS AND BURYING HIM IN THE GARDEN SO SHE CAN BE WITH THE SAUCY NEIGHBOR KID.

​YEAH. THAT'LL MAKE YOUR AFTERNOON. AND BECKY WONDERS WHY I'M SO GRUMPY WHEN SHE GETS HOME FROM WORK.

Furious George moments after the tow rope broke, taking out half the fence and shooting Mr. Bitterman into next week. He is one nasty little bugger.

Mr. Bitterman sails toward the future. It came as quite a surprise to everyone, not the least of whom being himself.