Find An Assistant Who Can Play Chess In Order to Pass the Time During Winter Storms
Gardening Hack #8: Hire an assistant.
A good assistant provides companionship, fresh ideas and makes working in the dirt just that much more jovial.
(Here we see my garden assistant and sales associate, Mr. Bitterman, taking my daughter to the cleaners using Munchausen's Defense #7. Obviously, he is perplexed by her latest move.)
I would have used the dogs, rather than hiring Mr. Bitterman, as they work for kibble, but dogs don't listen, dig holes wherever they damned well please and have turned many of seedlings yellow due to the poor quality of the wine they insist on drinking. So far, they have buried three rawhides in the new garden in the hope of growing a herd of cattle. I do appreciate them for other reasons, though, namely, their friendship, loyalty and the idea that one must turn around three times before lying down.
(Thank you, Robert Benchley -- Look him up. This blog owes everything to him.)