Mr. Bitterman's Garden
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Final Prep

2/2/2019

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Well, I think it's safe to say
We've had good luck with the Aero Garden this season.
So good, in fact, that I may just pop the top off the darned thing,
Save as many roots as possible and replant it all
In the Porch Barrel.
I'd hate to lose 
So much wonderful
Basil and Dill and Parsley.
(Becky insists the plant pawed at her the other day.)



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These are the first of the seedlings to sprout.
They're ready for repotting anytime now.
In the distance, we have 3 varieties of tomato,
Yellow Pear, Big Boy and Beefsteak.
Second row we have Pumpkins and Cucumbers.
Under the Plastic Wrap
We have Mild and Medium Hatch Chiles.
Right around May 1, 
Everything Will Move out to The Greenhouse.
​

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Outside, in the Lower Garden (Nora)
Buddha Watches Over my Rototilling today.
He promised to call Becky if my new
Mechanical Knee
Gave Out and I Needed Help.
Then, he promptly fell asleep.
​
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Here We See Roscoe,
One of the Crop of Bostons We Got This Year,
Investigating New and Interesting Places 
To Leave Little Land Mines for Dad's Shoes.

Since we are expecting 
Rain and Snow 
This weekend, I figured I'd better Rototill in the Latest Fertilizer
(None Provided by Roscoe)
So It Might Work its Way Deeper
Into the Soil
And Disperse a Bit.
​

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The Same Goes for Asta, the Small Garden.
(This Was Pumpkins Last Season,
It Will Be Hatch Chiles (Mild and Medium) This Year.
​

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And in an Effort to At Least
Give the Appearance
of Knowing What the Hell I'm Doing,
I'm Rotating Crops this year, with
Tomatoes and I Don't Know What
in Nick, the Upper Garden.

Maybe Pumpkins,
But They are Always at the Mercy
of the Lawn Mower Guys.
(So they'll Likely Go in Nora, Down Below)
​

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While I Had the Rototiller Out and Running
(Neither being Easy)
I ran It Over Some Bare Patches on the Lawn
to Scruff Up the Thatch 
In the Hopes that New Seed Would Take.
​(Hope Springs Eternal.)

We should know by Late Next Week
If We Have Success.
​
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As I've Said,
We Have a Fine Crop of Bostons
This Year.
One has Already Left the Garden.
The Other Sits and Waits
With an Inscrutable Look
Waiting for the Rototiller
To Drag Me off To
The Bat Shit Crazy Neighbor's
Yard.
​

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Another Shot of the Aero Garden.
Not Sure What We've Got Here.
But It Sings Like Levi Stubbs.
​

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Young Otis Gumpox is Enjoying His Stay.
He Found My Stash of Comic Books
And, One of My Old Pairs of 
"Little Chick"
Shoes.
Too Bad He Couldn't Use The
In-Store X-Ray Machine to Measure His Feet.
Oh, We Had Such Stupid Fun in the Fifties!
​

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Otis Has Also Asked Me
CONSTANTLY
Why Jimmy Stewart Wears His Clown Makeup
Like, Forever, in "The Greatest Show On Earth"
(Which Wasn't Even "The Greatest Show in Toluca Lake.")
I told Him I Had No Idea,
But I think It Might Have Had Something to Do
With Drunkenly Signing a Contract to Do
​"The Greatest Show On Earth."
Picture
​
Meanwhile,
Furious George Has Been Watching 
"Tiger King"
To the Point That He Wants to Open
A Roadside Zoo.
He Won't,
But He Is Going to Rename Himself
"Joe Exfoliate."
(Don't Tell Him. He's in a  Good Place.)
​

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And, Mr. Bitterman
Has Been Joining in the New 
Colorado Tradition 
of Stepping Outside Every Night at 8
And Howling in Honor
of First Responders and
Front Line Medical Workers.
He Wanted to Invite Some
Howler Monkey Cousins.
But I Had to Put My Foot Down.
​New Knee and All.

Picture

​More to Come Soon!

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    Greg Moody is the long-time Critic-at-Large in Denver, CO. He has developed a love of raised bed gardening with the help of his simian assistant, Mr. Bitterman.

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